Expect the unexpected

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When we first discovered that we were having triplets, I remember one of the midwives in London telling me to always expect the unexpected in relation to this pregnancy and not to jump to any conclusions or guess how things would go.

 

I don’t think I took this advice very seriously until last Wednesday, January 11th when I was told that there was intermittent absent blood flow to the smallest baby and that there was a slight chance we would deliver within a few days.

 

I have been resting up really well for the last few weeks, my sickness is gone, I have a great appetite and it is hard to equate feeling this well with a blood flow issue and with imminent delivery. I was admitted immediately to hospital until delivery whenever that may be.

 

It was an emotional day and it was hard to deal with the news that we could have 3 children within a few days. There are times when I think that I have my head around this whole triplet thing but at very sobering moments like last Wednesday I sometimes think that I won’t fully believe it until I see the three of them in all their glory. John was in London for work but was returning the next day and thankfully he was back for the Friday 13th scan. Friday 13th January turned out to be a very lucky one for us as the scan showed that the blood flow to the smallest baby had normalised and we could breathe a temporary sigh of relief.

 

Being limited to a hospital bed is not in anyway enjoyable and it is a funny position which I find myself in. On the one hand, I don’t want these babies out until March as they are in the best possible place and growing really well but at the same time, I question my own sanity if I am to stay here for another 6 or 7 weeks. It is definitely a time when you need to dig deep for mental strength and once again the day by day approach is the only way to take it. I am beginning to experience that maternal instinct and after 31 years of only really looking after number 1, it is an interesting sensation realising that you are no longer your own first priority (sorry John, maybe that should happen on your wedding day!!)
Whenever I feel slightly sorry for myself, I pull myself together and consider the bigger picture. It’s all about these three little bears…

 

John and I had a tour of the NICU (Neonatal intensive care unit) on Sunday which was a real eye opener and it really highlighted how every day in the womb makes a difference. It was very reassuring to see some tiny babies who were delivered around the 26 week gestation period and to see how well they are doing and it was beneficial to become familiar with the various pieces of apparatus and beeping machines to avoid the shock factor whenever we are in there looking at our three in incubators.

 

For now, I must continue to rest here and it is made easier by visits from family and friends with deliveries of lovely food and treats. I am also being really closely monitored with scans every second day and constant monitoring of blood pressure and of the babies’ heartbeats. Of course I am still trying to guess when they will arrive and predict what is going to happen…. but it could be a matter of days or weeks… expect the unexpected!!
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9 thoughts on “Expect the unexpected

  1. I think you’re a couple of weeks further along than me and I Can’t imagine how tough it would be confined to hospital so early in the pregnancy. So glad things have normalised for your bubs! Love the blog, keep the posts coming. Mind yourself and get yourself some mindfulness colouring books 😉 x

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    1. Thanks! Hope you’re feeling well! Colouring books is a novel idea- must look into that! Thanks for the feedback and good luck x

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  2. All the best Erica and John. Enjoying the blogs and think they’ll help while you’re resting up. Perhaps you can start knitting them some little hats! 😉

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  3. Best of luck to you hope things keep going well it will all be worth it when you have your babies xxx you have a extra person looking down on you now and helping you through it

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  4. Sorry to hear you have had a little bump (excuse the pun) on your journey. I cant imagine having to rest up for that length of time away from home but be assured you are in the right place for all the right reasons… all three of them. Hugs to you all☺

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  5. Fantastic. You are amazing and brilliant at your patience etc presently. It will all be worth it when trips arrive. They will be the joy, love and centre of both John and your lives. Love you loads.

    Sent from my iPad

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  6. Hey Erica,
    Ventured onto your blog via the Irish Times site. What an exciting (and scary) time for you both!. To be parked up in hospital for so long is a little discombobulating so I have a few suggestions that might help. Take what you like from it and disregard the rest :0)
    The colouring books are a great idea by the way.
    + Have something of yours from home that is really familiar to you (not just your own pillows). A photo or an item that keeps you connected with the home you’re going back to. Something with a smell is good. Its easy to become institutionalised and ‘forget’ that you’re going to have to leave the hospital one (AND with babies!!)
    + Discuss the things that push your buttons about the babies coming. Whats your biggest fear? Expressing it out loud can help diminish its potency and create space for solutions to come in. Chewing over the logistics now can help you feel more prepared for when the babbas come. There just won’t be enough hours in the day when they come but a bit of pre-planning can make all the difference.
    + Accept everyone’s help! A meal, a baby held or changed or even a call are all invaluable in the newborn days and weeks and months. You’ll be operating on less sleep and OD- ing on hormones so learn to accept graciously anything that comes your way…and don’t be afraid to ask either. You may qualify for extra help at home, grants for home care or something like that – ask around.
    + You may or may not be into reading something like “The Contented Baby Book” by Gina Ford but I’d recommend it for giving you help to have a structure with the babies that will ensure you all get rest and respite from each other. For some its too hardcore and dictatorial but I have only ever seen the benefits of it from years as a midwife – the babies really are contented and easy to settle and I know she does a twins and multiples version also.
    + Join up with a multiple birth society now as they can be an awesome network for you not only with practical help and advise but as a new network for you as you’ve just returned home.
    + Take the time now to do a CPR course before the babies come or even just basic first aid. NICU’s usually offer this to parents. Ask them as there may be sessions you can both sit in now to observe or participate.
    + Do you connect individually now with each baby? Sit quietly and focus in on each one and get a ‘feel’ for them. Tell them how excited you are to have them and ask what they need to feel safe and happy when they come. Reassure them the birth will be ok and that you trust those who are looking after you all.
    + While you have so much time to reflect, have you thought about what kind of parents you plan to be? Why not have those discussions now before they arrive in on top of ye? Who influences the way you plan to parent? Have you had an awesome upbringing and you want to reflect that or, do you plan to do the polar opposite of how you were raised? Or a little bit of both? What are the pillars that will underpin successful parenting for you – get very clear about them and use them to lamplight the way forward. Who’s parenting do you admire and why? It’s So easy to focus all out attention on the birth when is is the first tiny footsteps on the journey.

    I hope that’s of some use to you Erica. I could have written heaps more but had to stop myself!! I’ve never commented on a blog before but I’m thinking you might enjoy hearing something back and this is coming to you from NZ :0)
    Very best of luck to you both and occasionally, take a breath and enjoy the sweet sweet moment that you’re in as a new little family in the world….its really awesome. Tiring, exhausting, relentless, chaotic and awesome :0)
    Linda

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    1. Wow thanks for the extensive advice, there are some great tips there! It is prob a good time to think about parenting alright, keeping busy in here though and the daily scans make it easier… one day at a time! Thanks again for the tips!

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